These are just my thoughts while watching the movie, rented from iTunes, presented in bullet points.
Bad CG with the lasers in the opening scene.
What the hell happened to Stallone’s face??
23 minutes into the movie, Bruce Willis threatens Stallone. He has just finished explaining that the whole reason he needs the Expendables is because his own people are having trouble dealing with the local army on this island. “If you take this money, and you don’t deliver, me and my people are gonna come get you and your people.” If Bruce’s people are so badass, why doesn’t he just send THEM to the island?!? Oh, right. because they’re not Expendable. I got it. And If his people are having so much trouble with the local dictator that he has to outsource BETTER mercenaries (Stallone and Friends) then what could his people POSSIBLY do to Stallone’s crew should they decide to take the money and run?
Bad green screen in Sandra’s truck after she first meets Stallone and Statham.
You can tell from the beginning of the movie that Eric Roberts and the general are going to end up defeating each other through infighting.
But DAMN does the action deliver!! The sound effects and everything. You really get the sense that these are huge freakin dudes beating the piss out of each other. I love it.
Stallone leaps and grabs onto the open door of the plane, bad green screen again, and bad guys shoot at him. About half of them are using pistols. At this point, Stallone is thousands of feet away, obscured by water. Unless one of these guards is named Martin Riggs, they’re not going to hit the bulls-eye using a pistol. Do none of you own a rifle and/or common sense?
No one entertains me more than Stallone when it comes to computer-generated simulation of faceless antagonists being ripped apart by high-caliber weapons.
A flare gun CANNOT reach that far, especially with the jetstream that you’ve just created by flying in the opposite direction. In this scene, Stallone and Statham have made it to their plane and have taken off, escaping the local army. They decide to turn around and basically kill as many of them as possible, with Statham pulling the trigger on this awesome gun on the front of the plane. Once again, a great action sequence that is literally cut between Statham shooting and these men being decimated by bullets on the dock where the plane previously took off from. Then, Stallone decides to push a button that leaks gasoline all over these men and their vehicles, flies fast over them one last time, and Statham leans out of the plane and fires a flare gun downwards, towards the doc, which is at least a couple hundred feet away, AGAINST THE WIND, and nails it, causing a massive explosion. He doesn't aim upwards so that the flare will arc downwards and hit its target. The flare travels in a straight, unbroken line. You don’t have to be a pilot or a physics professor to know that this is not possible. You simply have to be observant and possess common sense. When a car drives past you, do you ever notice the gust of wind that follows it in the same direction? I think it’s called drag, but anyway. The bigger and faster the object (a large plane), the stronger this gust is. So, with this in mind, the fast object has basically pulled the air behind in the direction of it’s movement, like a sinking ship. To fire a projectile as light and susceptible to wind as a flare in the OPPOSITE direction is to pee into the wind. You’re going to miss. By a lot.
Not to mention the heavy scene of exposition that’s based purely on a highly accurate, but very thin assumption that explains a whole lot without a lot of concrete evidence. Was this any other movie, they’d end up dead simply from lack of facts.
FANTASTIC monologue by Mickey Rourke.
How many movies can I watch where the bad guy has captured a female protagonist, lovingly fondled a necklace that she wears and then ripped from her neck, while she looks at him with disgust?
Steve Austin punches a woman in the face, Really hard.
Plothole. Kinda. The bad guys torture Sandra, asking what the Americans were after. The writers treat this character as if she were a hardened spy, trained to withstand horrendous torture. This is just a normal girl. Plus, she doesn’t KNOW what Stallone was after. Furthermore, even if she did, she would SO TALK, because she met Stallone ONCE before this scene takes place, and can’t possibly have any convincing emotional attachment to him. She doesn’t know him. Certainly not enough to undergo torture in order to help him. I guess Stallone just has that effect on people.
Every scene with Eric Roberts is boring. EV opton IS anERY SCENE. (ß---- I don’t know WHAT that last part means. I typed this portion last night, and when I woke up this morning, that gibberish was there. I cannot begin to extrapolate what it might refer to. I think it was supposed to say EVERY SCENE).
A faceless antagonist is about to burn a woman’s face with a cigarette. Stallone cuts off this man’s head with a HUGE knife. Awesome.
This whole final battle is why you would rent the movie,
Terry Crews rips people in half by running down a hallway with an automatic shotgun. This alone was worth the price of the rental.
They are all about to leave. Statham wants to backtrack. Stallone says “The building’s rigged, this is the only way out.” NO IT ISN’T!!! First of all, you came in another way, so by definition, you’re already wrong. Just because you laid charges in the building doesn’t mean you have to blow them while you’re still inside the building. It IS an option to backtrack, go out the way you came, the safe way where there’s no enemies (or at least there can’t be more than going out the front door) and risk ZERO casualties, and THEN blow the building. But then, there’d be no awesome scene where they blow up the building and charge at their enemies, explosions all around, being manly.
Bad CG with the lasers in the opening scene.
What the hell happened to Stallone’s face??
23 minutes into the movie, Bruce Willis threatens Stallone. He has just finished explaining that the whole reason he needs the Expendables is because his own people are having trouble dealing with the local army on this island. “If you take this money, and you don’t deliver, me and my people are gonna come get you and your people.” If Bruce’s people are so badass, why doesn’t he just send THEM to the island?!? Oh, right. because they’re not Expendable. I got it. And If his people are having so much trouble with the local dictator that he has to outsource BETTER mercenaries (Stallone and Friends) then what could his people POSSIBLY do to Stallone’s crew should they decide to take the money and run?
Bad green screen in Sandra’s truck after she first meets Stallone and Statham.
You can tell from the beginning of the movie that Eric Roberts and the general are going to end up defeating each other through infighting.
But DAMN does the action deliver!! The sound effects and everything. You really get the sense that these are huge freakin dudes beating the piss out of each other. I love it.
Stallone leaps and grabs onto the open door of the plane, bad green screen again, and bad guys shoot at him. About half of them are using pistols. At this point, Stallone is thousands of feet away, obscured by water. Unless one of these guards is named Martin Riggs, they’re not going to hit the bulls-eye using a pistol. Do none of you own a rifle and/or common sense?
No one entertains me more than Stallone when it comes to computer-generated simulation of faceless antagonists being ripped apart by high-caliber weapons.
A flare gun CANNOT reach that far, especially with the jetstream that you’ve just created by flying in the opposite direction. In this scene, Stallone and Statham have made it to their plane and have taken off, escaping the local army. They decide to turn around and basically kill as many of them as possible, with Statham pulling the trigger on this awesome gun on the front of the plane. Once again, a great action sequence that is literally cut between Statham shooting and these men being decimated by bullets on the dock where the plane previously took off from. Then, Stallone decides to push a button that leaks gasoline all over these men and their vehicles, flies fast over them one last time, and Statham leans out of the plane and fires a flare gun downwards, towards the doc, which is at least a couple hundred feet away, AGAINST THE WIND, and nails it, causing a massive explosion. He doesn't aim upwards so that the flare will arc downwards and hit its target. The flare travels in a straight, unbroken line. You don’t have to be a pilot or a physics professor to know that this is not possible. You simply have to be observant and possess common sense. When a car drives past you, do you ever notice the gust of wind that follows it in the same direction? I think it’s called drag, but anyway. The bigger and faster the object (a large plane), the stronger this gust is. So, with this in mind, the fast object has basically pulled the air behind in the direction of it’s movement, like a sinking ship. To fire a projectile as light and susceptible to wind as a flare in the OPPOSITE direction is to pee into the wind. You’re going to miss. By a lot.
Not to mention the heavy scene of exposition that’s based purely on a highly accurate, but very thin assumption that explains a whole lot without a lot of concrete evidence. Was this any other movie, they’d end up dead simply from lack of facts.
FANTASTIC monologue by Mickey Rourke.
How many movies can I watch where the bad guy has captured a female protagonist, lovingly fondled a necklace that she wears and then ripped from her neck, while she looks at him with disgust?
Steve Austin punches a woman in the face, Really hard.
Plothole. Kinda. The bad guys torture Sandra, asking what the Americans were after. The writers treat this character as if she were a hardened spy, trained to withstand horrendous torture. This is just a normal girl. Plus, she doesn’t KNOW what Stallone was after. Furthermore, even if she did, she would SO TALK, because she met Stallone ONCE before this scene takes place, and can’t possibly have any convincing emotional attachment to him. She doesn’t know him. Certainly not enough to undergo torture in order to help him. I guess Stallone just has that effect on people.
Every scene with Eric Roberts is boring. EV opton IS anERY SCENE. (ß---- I don’t know WHAT that last part means. I typed this portion last night, and when I woke up this morning, that gibberish was there. I cannot begin to extrapolate what it might refer to. I think it was supposed to say EVERY SCENE).
A faceless antagonist is about to burn a woman’s face with a cigarette. Stallone cuts off this man’s head with a HUGE knife. Awesome.
This whole final battle is why you would rent the movie,
Terry Crews rips people in half by running down a hallway with an automatic shotgun. This alone was worth the price of the rental.
They are all about to leave. Statham wants to backtrack. Stallone says “The building’s rigged, this is the only way out.” NO IT ISN’T!!! First of all, you came in another way, so by definition, you’re already wrong. Just because you laid charges in the building doesn’t mean you have to blow them while you’re still inside the building. It IS an option to backtrack, go out the way you came, the safe way where there’s no enemies (or at least there can’t be more than going out the front door) and risk ZERO casualties, and THEN blow the building. But then, there’d be no awesome scene where they blow up the building and charge at their enemies, explosions all around, being manly.
No comments:
Post a Comment